You Can Go Your Own Way
Lessons in cutting my own path
I’m writing this coming off a call with my oncologist which concluded with me asking to be discharged. I am very clear that I do not want to go on preventative drugs and surprisingly, I didn’t get any pushback on that.
My body’s been pretty vocal about not wanting any more drugs. Heck, it rejected a Tylenol while I was in a lot of pain back in June. I did the research. The class of drugs that’s recommended prevents reoccurrence at a relatively low rate. At the time I was diagnosed, I felt really strongly that it was a signal to make major changes in my life. I am making those changes. It’s my belief that as long as I keep moving in this new direction, it won’t reoccur.
And what is that direction? Still figuring out the how but I’ve gotten too many messages about following my creativity, especially around music. It’s time for that big dream of being a performer, no matter how much it scares me.
The title of this post comes from the Fleetwood Mac song that keeps drifting in and out of my head since I saw Rumours of Fleetwood Mac in August. (I talk a bit about this experience in this SOTD post.) I just keep hearing this line over and over.
You can go your own way. (You can go your own way.)
To press this point, I had an intuitive reading yesterday that contained an image of me creating my own path rather than walking on the ones laid out. I’ve been hearing variations on this most of my life but I never felt I was original enough as an artist. I like doing re-interpretation/clarifying of vision rather than bringing something out of nothing. I’m now seeing that this is about how I choose to live my life rather than any one thing I create in it.
I spent some time today trying to find a local open mic. Couldn’t find anything. I did find some karaoke that isn’t too far away or too late on Fridays so I’m going to check it out this week. Time to get back on the horse!
Looking back, I was my most vibrant when I was doing karaoke every week. Tapping into my most vibrant self feels imperative right now. That’s how I will stay healthy and happy. Let’s see what I attract with that.