I haven’t written for a while because I didn’t have much to say. I was being guided to rest, which I did with varying degrees of success. Even this weekend has been a lot of resting.
But this weekend was different, as last Monday I signed an agreement to move. Again. But this one, while month-to-month, is intended to be for a while. I can take my stuff out of storage after 9 months.
There must have been a lot of tension tied to this uncertainty because ever since then I’ve pretty much crashed.
This is another big change. The place I am moving to is beautiful. I’m moving into a furnished room with a gorgeous design. There’s a piano in the living room I can play. Across the street is Lake Ontario, as seen from the top of the Scarborough Bluffs. Ten minutes away is the Guild Inn, where the Guild Festival Theatre will be performing this summer, a company whose founder I knew and whose current leadership have been intersecting with me at work.
It does mean a longer commute. I’m discovering Scarborough is a big place. Other people I know in Scarborough are not as close as I thought. I have two commute options. A ten minute walk to the bus stop to take a bus into the east end of the subway. A twenty minute walk to the GO Station. No matter how I look at it, I’ll be doing a lot of walking.
I have been building up strength the last few months, thank God. I wouldn’t have been able to even contemplate this otherwise. I still have to go up stairs to my room. It’s large and has lots of storage but not enough space for everything, and it doesn’t get direct sunlight. This is why the month-to-month agreement works for me, in case this doesn’t work for me.
I start rehab just after I move. There’s exercises that I have been given that I haven’t been doing. Not doing things is a theme it seems. Will that shift once I get into a more isolated environment? Lets hope so
I was challenged to think about what I really want this next phase to look like. I want to sing. I want to write. I want to speak. All the other “how to build your business” stuff that I have has no appeal to me. Yet build I must as my rent is now more than half of my monthly take-home pay. I have gotten a few cosmic messages about asking for help, and I think it connects with this.
Or I could be completely wrong. Maybe it’s just enough for me to just do the creative work and not be concerned about how things will come together. Write here to develop the speaking ideas. Sing some songs to decide how to bring a show together, or record. (We have a small recording studio at work and I get some hours there.) Keep building my connections with the MusicStack community and writing about songs I love.
Maybe it’s just about embracing joy in what I do and let that joy draw the opportunities to me.
What do you think?